Like that crazy X girlfriend, Monday always shows back up.

Of course, I prefer Mondays coming around to the alternative,

 

How would we know what Fridays should be if we didn't have Mondays?

Now, laugh

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.


The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,  I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? "


The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.


A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......





With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored  before he reaches safety.  The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....                


" Your badge. Show him your BADGE !"

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise.

Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom."

The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."

 I want to see more of these signs around!

I had to make some room at the storage warehouse for some new guns

 The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'

God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1 There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension




2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much


4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

 

     
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

Till tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends

Winchester 73, Airsoft version

Do, do, do, do, wha, haaaa,haaa

(That was supposed to be the good the bad and the ugly theme, you get the picture.)

 

 

Let me take you back to a simpler time, before the rat-a-tat-tat of the rapid fire sewing machine gun.

Back to a time when you had to cock your rifle for each shot

Back to

 

When I was but a young man, 

I grew up near one of the most famous western towns of them all

I guess that's what gave me a life long love of the "Cowboy Guns"

I shot Cowboy Action for years in Orlando Fl, sweating out summers at the range 

in high boots and wool vests.

When I got back into airsoft I thought I was doomed to the life of using an M-4 forever,

Then I saw the light!

Ebay (and  a small stack of greenbacks) got me back to my roots

 

KTW Winchester 1873 lever action

( I am updating this post off and on all week, new updates are in the color red)

This beauty is made in South Korea, but don't let that stop you.

Mine is second hand, but you can get one on Ebay now, wish he was around a while back.
Spring powered, no sissy gas or battery for this bad boy.

At four and a half pounds this is a hefty rifle.The stock and forend are plastic, but it is some of the best looking "plastic wood" I have seen.

The butt-stock has a noticeable, but not distracting ,seam, 

the forend none at all.

The top cover slides open when you cock the lever, just like the RS, you have to push it shut yourself when your done firing.

It even has a brass colored "lifter" just like the real deal.

The barrel is plastic, I think, side plate, lever hammer, trigger, all metal

The only bad casting is the trigger, lots of pits and flash, but overall, this is a A1 replica.

 

Sights are pretty rudimentary, post front with a semi buckhorn style rear that flips up to become a ladder site,

 not that you would ever use it.

 

Trades consist of a tang stamp only, 

and the letters DSM on the barrel, 

(also I found the DongSan name and trademark on the butt plate.)

 

 

You load thru the under barrel tube, at the front of the muzzle you give the tube a 1/4 twist 

and the mag pops out.

It is listed as holding 37 6mm bb's, I have been getting 35 in mine, but it feeds great.

 

 

The safety, as it were, consists of , basically, not cocking it.

Like the Flintlock pistol made by the same company, the hammer is not connected with the firing mechanism

.

DO NOT COCK IT AND THEN TRY AND RIDE 

THE HAMMER DOWN WITH YOUR THUMB

 

It will fire, believe me, don't ask any questions and don't look at my office wall too close,

just take my word on this , ok, now drop it.

 

It has a lever lock that allows you tooooo,,,,, lock the lever. 

 

This is not a safety.

(You know what, I was wrong. the lever lock will function as a safety. I was setting around re-watching "The Magnificent Seven" , the TV show not the movie, 

and had to have a  cowboy gun ( or two) at my side.)  

How does it shoot?

Fps testing has it at a very consistent 265 fps with .20, with a deviation of only 3 fps in three 10 shot strings.

Accuracy was very good with a 10 shot group at 75 feet just outside of 10 inches

Range is right at 165 ft to keep it in a man size target, shooting .25

At 37 inches she is a long one, but like the real steel it balances well in the hand.

No sling swivels, (except for the saddle ring) so your out of luck mounting a single point sling,
but hey, if you did that, 

you should be horse whipped anyway.

I stole all these pictures from a Ebay auction, they are a lot better than I could have done. I am going to add some more pic's next week, when the sun is shining and I can pose this with my other airsoft cowboy guns.

Oh yes, I have more, many more and you are going to hear about them soon.

Just added the crappy Video here

If you need anymore info, feel free to ask, I am always glad to share.

It also has a saddle ring, just like the Dukes, but his was a 1892 if I remember right.

Now, go buy one and relive those days of yore, 

or just use it to be different at your skirmish site, I know I will.

Till tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

Update or not?

Is it sacrilege to update a classic design?

Notice to ATFE, this is an airsoft gun with a solid barrel extension, call off the raid

Ode to a Sten Gun
By Gunner. S.N. Teed
You wicked piece of vicious tin!
Call you a gun? Don't make me grin.
You're just a bloated piece of pipe.
You couldn't hit a hunk of tripe.
But when you're with me in the night,
I'll tell you pal, you're just alright!
Each day I wipe you free of dirt.
Your dratted corners tear my shirt.
I cuss at you and call you names,
You're much more trouble than my dames.
But boy, do I love to hear you yammer
When you 're spitting lead in a business manner.
You conceited pile of salvage junk.
I think this prowess talk is bunk.
Yet if I want a wall of lead
Thrown at some Jerry's head
It is to you I raise my hat;
You're a damn good pal...

You silly gat!

A Tale of Two books

They were the best of books, they were the worst of books,
let's start out with the worst.

Operation Hotel California: The Clandestine War Inside Iraq

On a recent trip to TREXPO, I popped into a used book store that I like near DC. I bought two books, this one and the Horse soldiers.
This book, in very simple terms, sucks. The writing is at about 5th grade level with so much repetition
that I hope he was getting paid by the word.
Charles Faddis would have had us out of Iraq by 2003, if we had just let him, at least this book tells you that.
The book goes from a high school type whine about how much Bush sucked, to how we need to disband the CIA and reorganize it as a OSS style system with "Demo Dick Marchino" as it's head (with a salary of 1,000,000.00 a year) when I read that part I spit hamburger helper all over my dining table!
We also need to make AlGore the head of global warming so he can save us all.

I am going to keep the book a few more days so that I can quote it verbatim to some friends, I am then going to trash it, I have only done that one time before, but I would hate to think someone else would have to spend money to read this tripe.

Horse Soldiers: The Extraordinary Story of a Band of US Soldiers Who Rode to Victory in Afghanistan
by Doug Stanton

 

 

I just finished this book, it was everything that "Operation Hotel California" was not.
This is a great read, a very well written account of the first troops on the ground in Afghanistan.
Run and buy this one, if your tastes lean towards modern war history, this will be a treat for you.  

I guess you should never judge a book by it's cover,

( I know, I'm almost 50 and I should have learned that by now,
I am slow, give me a break).

I just needed to share these insights with you so I can save you guys money, 

really, the 1st book is that bad that it made me stay up till 1 AM to tell you about it.

So, monday is an hour away

And I started thinking, might as well laugh now!

So, just for you, my most diligent readers, laughs.

Truths For Mature Humans

 

1.  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

  13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
 run away?

 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

 22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. - AMEN

 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. - hahahaha!

 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

 

 

Monday is CSI Miami Day

 

Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Navy FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Radar: (no response ..... total silence) 

 Backblast, the bitch you can't ignore.

 A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he
was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can
go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"


The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop! the
answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means
a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......

 

Looks like Ghostbusters III is a go, I will reserve judgment until I see it before I get this Tattoo.

 

A Homeless Man's funeral . . .

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral
  director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no
  family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in
  the Kentucky back country.
    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a
  typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour
  late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was
  nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they
  were eating lunch.

  I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the
  side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in
  place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

  The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I
  played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
  I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I
  played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept,
  we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and
  started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I
never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic
  tanks for twenty years."

Till Tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

 

The laws of Airsoft (at least in TX)

         Laws of Airsoft

This was taken from a Texas forum, done some years back, it was re-posted by AustinWolv. Remember this is about 6 or so years old.

Post in 2007
A while back, an user, jballou, from ASP created an amusing running list of "truths" and "do and don't" with some help of other airsoft players that bears resurrection, especially due to recent times in Texas airsoft. It is copied and pasted below since the original link is now lost in the Internet black hole.

While this is 3 years or so old now, many points are worth thinking about while others are dated. Items in bold are especially relevant.
Read and take some of the points to heart:
************************************************** *
The Laws Of Airsoft

This is where I will keep my laws. It started with had 4 that have served me well, and with other people's submissions and time, it has grown.

1. If it's your first AEG, get a TM.
2. If you don't get a TM, when it breaks (and it will) we will laugh at you, and hope you will cry. Also, someone may offer $80 for the heap of your busted gun you paid $300 for. It's about as good as you're gonna get.
3. If you have to ask if it can be done (custom guns especially), you do not have the skill to do it
4. Do not ask for advice, then do what you wanted to do in the first place.
5. If you're just starting airsoft, and want to be a sniper, use someone else's rifle for a bit. If you get a sniper rifle as a first gun, it limits what you can play. Get an AEG!
6. If you do not have time to shim it right, you will find time to shim it again, and replace the gears and piston.
7. If you are right, and someone continues to insist you are wrong, let the issue die. We all know you are right, and the other person's spouse is most likely having sex with the telephone repairman on the sly.
8. If you are in an argument, and the other person's profession is the subject of the argument, you are wrong by default. Unless your job is also about the subject matter, in which case nobody else has a fucking idea what you are talking about, so take it offline.
9. If you have any post with the phrase "WHAT IS TEH BEST GUN??!!!111" or any of it's permutations, commit suicide immediately, if not sooner.
10. If a game consists of two kids playing in the woods, it is NOT a "skirmish"!
11. Airsoft is NOT realistic. You show me a kid who gets his legs blown off from playing airsoft, properly executed air strikes and artillery, and we'll start talking about realism. Until then, you're a couple dudes in the woods shooting plastic BBs at each other from fake guns. If you want realism, join the army.
12. You play airsoft, you are not special, elite, or deserve any special recognition no matter how cool you think you are. That kid with the springer is every bit as cool as you when he hits you. Don't cry if people don't bow down to your skillz, yo, because it really doesn't matter unless you need it to rock yourself to sleep at night.
13. If you do not know how it goes together, have no diagram to put it back together, and have no access to someone who can put it together if you can't - DO NOT TAKE IT APART.
14. An M4 with a flashlight is NOT custom. An M4 with a boatload of crap bolted on, with a aftermarket RIS kit and different stock, it is NOT custom. Custom means "Made for this project" or "Not commercially available".
15. It's a game. You do not get anything by winning. Trash talking and name calling has no place in this game. Those who engage in it are petty, unpopular, and their mothers wish they had chose abortion, so let it go.
16. If you hit me, and I commend you on your skill and/or marksmanship, saying something smart like "Yeah, I kicked your ass" or anything else is a sure way to show your sportsmanship. If someone shoots you, and it's a hard or near impossible shot, it's nice to compliment people on it. If someone does it to you, be cool, and either thank them or say nothing at all. Again, trash talking is a huge bother.
17. "Winning" and then talking trash about the other side helps show how professional you really are. Really.
18. Hitting someone doesn't mean you "kicked their ass" when their side achieved the objective and you didn't.
19. If there is "no way you missed that guy", one of three things has happened: Either he didn't feel it, and it's an honest mistake, he is cheating and will get his comeuppance in the order of a full hicap to the head next time he gets hit, or you missed. Almost unilaterally it's number one or three.
20. Those without backup guns will find a problem with their gun that can't be fixed field expedient when they're 20 miles from nowhere on the first day of a weekend op.
21. The guy with $2,000+ invested in gear and guns will, at some point, get eliminated by a guy with his springer.
22. The team that acts l337 only impresses newbs
23. A standard magazine is not an accessory or an upgrade for your weapon
24. Just because you have a classic airsoft gun doesn't mean you are an airsoft guru.
25. You are but one player. Many players make up airsoft. You will not be missed and airsoft will not cease to exist if you disappear.

I have a question, what is 1337? I must be to old to get that!

Now if you have not seen this, where in the hell have you been!

Now a contest

(But, just like at an airsoft game, you don't win squat!)

I was researching firearms used in the VN war, I know our VN game is next may, but I like to do some things ahead of time.

I ran across this picture of a solider carrying an UZI

Now can you tell me what happens next? 

What does the next picture in this series show?

Till Tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

Monday, it is again.

Hell, it's Monday, so laugh already.

 

 

 

 

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.


3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.


4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.


6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.


7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)


9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.


10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.


11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.


12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.


13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.


14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.


16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.


17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.


18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.


19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.


20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.


21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.


22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.


23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.


24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.


25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.


26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."


27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.


29. You should not confuse your career with your life.


30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.


31. Never lick a steak knife.


32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.


33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.


34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.


35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.


36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 

 

STUPID IS AS STUPID SAYS

In a bid to stem taxpayer losses for bad loans guaranteed by federal housing agencies Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac,

 Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn) proposed that borrowers be required to make a 5% down payment in order to qualify. 

 His proposal was rejected 57-42 on a party-line vote because, as Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) explained, 

"...passage of such a requirement would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it."

 

 

 

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco
Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out
some lint and two dimes and something that used to be
a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a
five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to
grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo
said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior
citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard
the sound of change hitting the counter in front of
me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet
... a mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck
wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As
I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and
headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and
there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and
jingled it in front of me, like I could be that
easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"

I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to
rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly
makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped
the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.
What now? I checked my keys and tried another.
Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from
my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging
from my rearview mirror. Then, a few other objects
came into focus. The car seat in the back. Happy
Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A
partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out
of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding
out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be
leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.

That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my
stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned,
and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was
nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage,
and strode back into the restaurant one final
time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the
world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I
leave my food and drink in here?" At this point
I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back
to my vehicle, and then go straight home and
apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck,
and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on
my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up
a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I
think you left this in my truck by mistake." I
took the food and drink from the little boy and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My
grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket
doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk
kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me
halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of
cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly
sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs
with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my
way home.

 

I Found this for sale on a airsoft site

Is this a good way to get shot at the mall or what?

Until Tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

One year old today, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHooooooooo

So I made it a year.

And they said it wouldn't last.

Well, no one said squat, but I imagine my fiends thought I couldn't make it

 

And

This is my 101st post.

Wow, what a milestone. 

(I know, get over it and move on) 

 

I just had to post this up, it being friday the 13th and all.

Nothing else good will come of this day.

 

Pop quiz, why is Friday the thirteenth thought to be unlucky (no Googling) ?

 

 

 

Until Tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

X-Caliber Tactical Airsoft gun porn

X Caliber tactical is a fan of my blog

I am a fan of X-caliber tactical.

Here are a few of the guns X Caliber built for me.

 X-calibers update on the "clear and Present danger" gun.

 It is now my leg holster beauty.

 Most picked up gun at the 2010 SHOT show in Las Vegas, in amongst some memories of the night life there.

 I am and old man, and as such remember back in the old days we had "Bowling Pin" matches. 

Yes, we were strange, but we had fun.

Yes, the grips do glow in the dark.

I think Sam carved them out of radioactive bone left over from a hushed up nuclear meltdown.

Just thought you would enjoy some awesome pictures.

Commission your own masterpiece at,

(deleted do to his website was hacked)

He's not the fastest, but perfection don't come fast.

I will do a review on each gun in the coming months, even if you could care less, I am still going to do it.

This is not a paid endorsement, I just love the guns.

Until tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.

You thought the FPG and H&K Briefcase gun were new?

Think again.

Yes, that is Kurt Russell, a little before his Big Trouble in Little China days.

 There are a few of those briefcase guns around here somewhere? 

Damn YouTube to hell for "terms of use violations"
On that note, I will have to keep bugging my compatriot  who has both of these toys in his storage room to find them so I can do the videos myself.

Monday,Monday,Monday

OK, so only 5 minutes of it are left on the east coast, but hey, what else is a deadline for.

Monday is for laughs

Eleven people were hanging on a rope,
under a rescue helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them
all, so they decided that one had to leave
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because,
as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
husband and kids or for men in general, and was
used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping ......

 

 

 

 

THE OLD RANCHER

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.

Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.  

Tom proudly said,  'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was,could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man. 

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. 

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon. 

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. 

'How's the new wife?', asked the banker. 

Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.' 

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?' 

Without hesitating, Tom said, 
'She's  pregnant too.' 

Don't ever underestimate old Guys

 

 

SOMEONE WAS DAMN TALENTED 

 

 

What is Celibacy?

 Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by

 circumstances.

 While attending a Marriage Weekend, 

My wife and I,

listened to the instructor declare,

'It is essential that husbands

 and wives know the

 things that are important to each other.."

He then addressed the men,

 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite

 flower?'

I leaned over, touched my wife gently, and

 whispered,

'Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?'

And thus began my life of celibacy.........

 I love this game, I get to a town with a Dave and Busters and I spend a fortune there.

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you     can give to me?"
   
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with   intelligent people."
    
Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me 
are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"  Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony.  Your mother 
and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.  "Who is it?"
    
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the 
same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"   

"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one.  " He went to his advisers and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.  Biden asked Powell, "Colin, can you answer this for me?  Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister.   Who is it?" 
            
Colin Powell yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"
            
Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that  riddle. It's Colin Powell!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and yelled into his face, "No! you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

And that, my friends, is precisely what's going on with our federal government in Washington, D.C,

 

Sucks to get old, 

 

BEER BEFORE IT STARTS

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts".

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, get me another beer before it starts." That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave getting you beer after beer. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long??"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started".

 Till Tomorrow,

Stay Thirsty my Friends.