If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you damned proud to be an American.
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's night stand by the bed. He begins to worry. Is this your husband? He nervously asks. No silly, she replies, snuggling up to him. Your boyfriend then? He continues. No, not at all, she says nibbling away at his ear. Is it your dad or your brother? He inquires hoping to be reassured. No, no, no! You're so hot when you're jealous, she answers. Well then, who in the hell is he? He demands. She whispers in his ear, that's me before the surgery...
Till Tomorrow,
Stay Thirsty my Friends 
