Monday, May 31, 2010

Monday again? At least its a holiday

For some reason, I ask this a lot.


All of my thoughts and prayers go out to those serving and who have served in the past .
Thank you for a job few thank you for.
For those still in harms way, stay safe, check six and give um hell.


Now a laugh

Warning:  Scam targeting older men!!!*

Clever Scam - taking advantage of older men. Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men.  I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's or Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month, I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.  They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.  It's impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald's. You agree, and they get into the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.  I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at Dollar General and the Dollar Store, and bought them out.  Also, you never will get to eat at McDonald's.  I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's and Home Depot.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I think this CC stuff has gotten a little out of hand
 
 

So very true,
Until tomorrow
Stay Thirsty my Friends.

Friday, May 28, 2010

On a search, for the "ULTIMATE"

We are all searching!
5.11 unveils their new "monster wear" to go along with all the other crap they added to their catalog.


What am I looking for?

I have started to find an overload of CRAP has built up around the house and the warehouse.
Just gazing at my desk in front of me I can count 5 cameras, 3 MP-3 players, 6 airsoft pistols,7 "Tactical " knives and 10 flashlights.
Now tell me , am I insane or what?
So now my quest is to find the "best of the best"
When I find it in each item, then the rest of the crap is off to Ebay.
(not airsoft guns though, you can never have too much money, be too good looking or have too many guns, 
because I will never have the 1st two, I make up for it on the 3ed)

Now, my 1st search will be for the best Tactical pants.
I know, why don't I start on something that will help clean the desk? I will tell you why, 
because I am stupid and that would be to easy, that's why, smart ass.
I have been wearing Royal Robbins 5.11 pants for many years now, I guess I got my 1st pair about 25 years ago
( I still have them and because of the elastic waist, they still fit )
Of course the downside to wearing 5.11's is that at a trade show, you are one of a thousand wearing the same pants, but hey, I don't like to stand out anyway.
(You can Stop laughing now, those who know me)

I have tried the Tru-spec and don"t like them at all, the cut of the thigh pockets is strange to me, and they are very baggy.
 Ditto on the Proppers I tried also, just not the right fit.

I am going to try some pants from here
Both their brand and a pair off their closeout sale on the Blackhawks.
I will let you know.

After I find my pants, I can move on to other necessitates.


I refuse to pay over 50.00 for a pair of pants to use to do trade shows and shoot in. 
Maybe if I was an "Operator" I would understand why pants that don't have a built in blond  or washes my truck while I drink cost so damn much.
When I find the "ones" I will then buy 6 pair and be set for a while.
Found this website, it has some good info, but everyone has different opinions on what "feels" right.

On a different note, I am going to be doing some postings on "gear I found at Wal-mart"

Cheap alternatives if you are not looking to replicate a certain warrior or time period.
Mainly for the player, not the Cos player type.
Stay turned to this station, you won't regret it.
(if you do regret it, just do what I do, a couple of slugs of Jim Beam and it's all better



See you tomorrow
Stay Thirsty my friends 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Airsoft in print.


Ok, so I am stuck in the center seat on a redeye back from the land of fruits and nuts (CA) and all I have left to read is a Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell (Written by David Michaels, that is) book.

I am a little ways into the book and Sam is ninjaing up on a boat when he spots a guard.
Now direct from the book
"A man walked into the afterdeck, shining a flashlight as he went. Fisher could clearly see the outline of a gun in his other hand. KSC/Ingram Mac-11 submachine gun, he thought, recalling the stats. Firing rate, twenty rds per second, standard mag holds 48. The MAC-11 was not the most accurate of weapons, but what it lacked in precision was balanced by sheer firepower." Blah, Blah Blah.
( now I can throw the damn book away)

So, he could see that the guy had a airsoft gun? and he was worried?
A real Mac-11 was built in .380 cal, with a 16 or 32 rd mag. they fired between 900-1200 rpm, so at least he got that right. 
They were produced by
                                       Military Armament Corporation and designed by Gorden Ingram.
KSC, as we all know, is a Airsoft company.
This guy's gun research must have consisted of just a Google search, with out clicking thru to even look at the pages!
We have a local reporter in my town named  Mac Ingraham, I wonder if his dad liked guns???



Very, very sad. I guess when you pick up one of these boilerplate written books, you get what you get.
Not all writers can be Stephen Hunter or Larry Correia.
                                                             http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/

This is a shameless plug for Larrys book, 
Monster Hunter International, you can get it on Amazon.
Great book, I read it in one night and am hungering  for more.


Now, until tomorrow, stay thirsty my friends!




An Airsoft AK, my way










I know if I posted pictures up that some readers of this blog would go into a fit and swallow their tongue or something.

So, in deference to those with a weak constitution when it comes to a "non factory" AK. I am going to give you an Out before you sear your eyes

WARNING, these pictures may cause loss of potency, brain aneurysms and your property taxes to go up if you are an AK Purest. 




You have been warned,
I disinvest any responsibility for your reaction. 







Started life as a CYMA CWP  AK,


Madbul Sopmod extendable stock added


FoxFury Hammerhead Turbo strobe in a Element mount, heads up red dot



PWS flash hider 

On my local forums I got this response,
                    " Mkail Kalishnikov weeps at that blasphemous AK."

(He posted a pic of a bone stock AK, that I will not insult your eyes with.)
Looks pretty sick huh? 

My Response,
Sick is a good word for it, as in terminal.
Mr Kalashnikov was , much like Bo Donaldson and the Haywood's, a "one hit wonder".
I trade trucks every four or five years because of a little thing called progress.
The AK was a great design for ignorant farm workers pressed into service.
Now, that being said, John Browning was sent by God himself to give us his blessings.

So endeth the sermon today, my unschooled children,
brought to you by the church of the anti-AK.

Go forth now and be fruitful.

Remember Buy smart, buy S-mart

Now 4 pages later I had to add this,



Jul 2009the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow

Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour

http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/

hopefully you can use this data to find out the airspeed of the LADEN swallow..."




"God bless Al Gore for inventing the internet. a font of useless data

(Not that I am disparaging Monty Python, perish the thought, now those guy were geniuses.)

When the truth comes out, you will find that mike was just a guy who the NKVD gave a design to that they had found in some German trash can,
I understand that in airsoft, they are all the same, I am just not a fan of the ergonomics of the AK.
In RS, I want a gun that weighs 2 lbs, will not run out of ammo, ever, and carries itself until I need it, until the day that one is made, they all have their limitations..

I know, lets have a spelling contest!

For my next post I am going to say bad things about Chris Costa's dog."

And so it begins,,,,,,,,and keeps going and going

Only thing an AK is really good for, digging weeds!!!!!




Stay thirsty my friends.
See you tomorrow

Monday, May 24, 2010

And you thought I forgot it's Monday

HA,
I almost did, but to bad for you I looked at the calender!


Three old rifle shooters are out walking. 
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" 
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" 
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." 
Dont you hate having to ask directions from an Imperial lackey?
 
The Vietnam War has drawn to a close. 
The U.S. Army gives 3 Soldiers a chance to earn some money because of a lack of medals earned in the field. 
The 3 Soldiers, two PFCs and a Corporal, are standing in an infirmary in Ft. Benning, GA awaiting the docs.
The doc tells the soldiers the parameters of the idea: each Soldier gets to pick two spots on his body, and for every inch separating those two points, $1,000 would be awarded.
The first PFC tells the doctors he would like to be measured from the tip of his head to the soles of his feet.
He is measured at 6 feet even, so he receives a check for $72,000. 
The next PFC spreads his arms to the side like wings and requests to be measured from tip to tip of his outstretched middle fingers.
It's an impressive 8 feet 6 inches, so he is awarded $102,000. 
The Corporal grins at the doctors as he requests to be measured from the tip of his "baton" to the base of his scrotum.
The doctor pleads with the Corporal to reconsider, but the Corporal is adamant. 
The doctor finally gives in, instructs the Corporal to drop trou for a measure. 
All of a sudden the doc exclaims, "Just where is your scrotum, Corporal?"
He replies with a smile, "Back in Ho Chi Minh City, Sir!" 




Remember this, you young punks, now GET OFF MY LAWN!




A taxidermist from Connecticut decides to take a vacation to Arkansas.
After arriving, he decides to visit the local watering hole. 
As he enters the bar he notices all eyes are on him and there is an uncomfortable feeling in the air. 
The taxidermist approaches the bar and asks the bartender for a beer.
After handing the beer to him the barkeep says, "don't think I've seen you around here before, where you from and what do you do?"
The taxidermist answers, "I'm from Connecticut and I mount animals.
"Oh," the bartender says, 
"its OK boys, he's one of us!"


 




You have to be really cool to have your own action figure, I should know,




I need to get an M4 in his hand though










Until the marrow, stay thirsty my friends!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

After last weeks news, now I am glad it Monday



Ok, lets take a break form the endless ( for me) internet searching we have been doing this weekend
and have a Laugh, I need one if you don't.

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,

"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics,

space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious...

So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,

"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.
He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says,

"So, are you people still happy you voted for Obama?"
  



Last Nickel


A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and  places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the  restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"



'No,' the woman replied. I'm with the I.R.S.'



Friday, May 14, 2010

More Airsoft assaults, come on Fox news, you have to be smarter than this!

EXCLUSIVE: Toy Gun Sold in U.S. Can Easily be Converted to the Real Thing

By Diane Macedo
 - FOXNews.com
Felons, illegal immigrants and all others banned from buying a gun in the United States have a new alternative if they’re looking to get their hands on a firearm: Just buy a toy.
Felons, illegal immigrants and all others banned from buying a gun in the United States have a new alternative if they’re looking to get their hands on a firearm: Just buy a toy.
A FoxNews.com investigation reveals that a popular recreational pellet gun can be converted easily to a real semi-automatic weapon. And while the federal Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives is already aware of the issue, these “toys” -- new, top-of-the-line airsoft rifles -- continue to be sold throughout the country.
Like paintball without the paint, the propane-powered airsoft guns are designed to shoot quarter-inch plastic pellets and are generally used for recreation or in military and law enforcement training.
When the ATF seized a shipment of 30 of these guns in October from a port in Tacoma, Wash., it said they could be “readily convertible” to machine guns. But gun experts called that claim absurd and said the ATF was overstepping its bounds.
Now one of those critics is reversing his position, saying at least one airsoft manufacturer has taken the quest to be authentic a little too far.
“The airsoft can be converted to an AR-15,” firearms manufacturer Leo Gonnuscio told FoxNews.com after testing the make and model of airsoft guns seized by the ATF.
Having concluded that several other airsoft guns could not be converted to fire real ammunition, Gonnuscio said he was surprised to find that he was able to to transform this particular gun to the real thing  -- and with “minimal work,” because its bottom half, or “receiver,” is so similar to an AR-15's.
To make the airsoft receiver function just like an AR-15’s, Gonnuscio said, “All you have to do is drill one hole.”
And once that's out of the way, the rest is even easier. The AR-15 receiver is the only part of the semi-automatic rifle that is given a serial number, and is the only part that is regulated. All the remaining parts of the real thing can be purchased by anyone – any kid, criminal or terrorist.
The cost of buying the Taiwan-made airsoft gun and all the parts needed to convert it to an AR-15 comes to roughly $1,100 -- more than the cost of some real AR-15s. But someone who can’t clear a background check or has been refused a gun for any other reason could use this method to make his own lethal weapon, Gonnuscio said.
Making it into a machine gun, he said, would require yet another conversion, and the makeshift gun would likely be able to fire only 15-20 rounds before it stopped working due to the pressure it would have to withstand while firing in an automatic fashion.
But as semi-automatic weapon, Gonnuscio said, “It may not last forever, but they’ve got a gun to get the job done that they were assigned to do, and nobody knows the wiser.”
The ATF has made no reported moves to regulate or seize any more of the airsoft guns, which continue to be sold in stores around the country, and it appears to be bowing to critics and reconsidering its stance on the guns' convertibility.
“We’re having to take a serious look at this, so it’s just something that we’re reviewing, and I’m hoping we’ll have some information that we can make available to the public certainly very soon,” ATF spokesman Drew Wade told FoxNews.com.
But firearms expert Len Savage said the ATF is taking a “serious look” at the wrong issue -- or, more specifically, the wrong part of the gun.
The reason it’s possible to make these airsoft receivers function as real receivers is that all an AR-15 receiver does is hold the gun together, Savage said. So with enough gun knowledge, almost anything can be made into a receiver.
“There’s a line of AR-15 firearms out there where the lower (the receiver) is made entirely of injection molded plastic … It could be made of cardboard and scotch tape,” he said.
The most important part of an AR-15, and the most difficult part to replicate, he said, is the upper half of the gun -- which is unmarked, unregulated and readily available for purchase.
“The upper is what contains the barrel, the breecher bolt, that’s what contains all the pressure,” Savage said.
He said the reason the lower half of the AR-15 is the part with the serial number, and thus classified as the receiver, is that it was up to the manufacturer to choose the location of the gun’s serial number. Because the bottom of the gun has a flat surface, it was the easiest to mark.
And though federal law has since defined a gun’s receiver as the part “which provides housing for the hammer, bolt, breechblock and firing mechanism,” Savage says the bureau has continued to mark and regulate the lower part of the AR-15 to avoid confusion.
“In the stream of commerce, you’d have uppers that were marked and regulated and then lowers that were marked and regulated, you could see the confusion on a dealer basis” in determining which parts require licensing and which don’t, Savage said.
But even though the upper half of the gun can be bought by anyone, Gonnuscio still says that banning the airsoft receivers and implementing a few new rules for airsoft manufacturers could be a good start to keeping unregulated AR-15s off the street.
“I would hope that the ATF applies pressure to the manufacturers of these airsoft guns to redesign them so they cannot be converted," he said. "Make them move the pin holes ... so that an upper can’t be attached to it without major machining.
"Fill in some of that gap so that they would literally have to chuck this thing up in a mill and totally reconfigure it to work. Tighten up the magazine well so a regular magazine won’t fit in it.”
And because the U.S. is such a big market for these airsoft guns, Gonnuscio said, a foreign manufacture would change the product if its current design were banned here.
“There are tons of good uses for these guns: We use them for training, kids do reenacting with them, kids get out there and play just like the old days. We played BB gun wars when we were kids and we survived. These are little plastic balls that are shot by electricity or propane.
"So let them have their toys. Just make sure they’re still toys.”


I am going to wait a few hours before I respond, it's my federally mandated cooling off period. 

It does not apply to others, as we can see.


Hey Tim, I just found and read an article that describes how to turn a utility pole into a 5 wt. fly rod and a railroad tie into a clarinet!
Now if I could just find the one that describes how to make a French horn out of soft drink cans, I'd be all set!!
I have yet to finish the last project- turning a soybean combine into a two-seat convertible. Having a hard time getting some rusty bolts loose. 

Very well written. He said it better than I ever could.

Some research I made

http://www.examiner.com/x-1417-Gun-Rights-Examiner~y2009m1d28-Arrested-development-in-Georgia-gun-case
Looks like Savage may (?) be trying to get back in good graces with ATF?
Then I just found this on The Barking Moonbat ( love the name)
http://www.barking-moonbat.com/index.php/weblog/the_lie_that_just_wont_die/
I do not own one of these GBB's, I thought they were a bad Idea to bring into the US at the start. That being said, I still will not believe that they will hold up to firing  a .223 cal load. I would love to see his Cardboard lower, and the fact that there is a lower made out of plastic, come on, has this moron never ever seen a Glock Pistol.

From the guns rights examiner,
http://www.examiner.com/x-1417-Gun-Rights-Examiner~y2010m5d14-Fox-News-Airsoft-can-be-converted-to-real-guns-Will-that-make-toy-owners-felons

Fox News: Airsoft can be converted to real guns. Will that make toy owners felons?

May 14, 6:17 PMGun Rights ExaminerDavid Codrea
"Felons, illegal immigrants and all others banned from buying a gun in the United States have a new alternative if they’re looking to get their hands on a firearm: Just buy a toy," says an exclusive Fox News report by Diane Macedo.

While converting it to a machine gun, as claimed by the ATF, would require yet another conversion, firearms manufacturer Leo Gonnuscio has reversed his earlier criticism and now claims "The airsoft can be converted to an AR-15."

From the report:

The AR-15 receiver is the only part of the semi-automatic rifle that is given a serial number, and is the only part that is regulated.

Per firearms designer Len Savage:

“There’s a line of AR-15 firearms out there where the lower (the receiver) is made entirely of injection molded plastic … It could be made of cardboard and scotch tape,” he said.

With these new claims, questions I've asked from the beginning gain new relevance:

If, in fact, these toy guns pose a legal and real danger, is everyone in possession of such a lower receiver now in possession of an illegal firearm?

Will there be a recall? Will BATFE issue a circular to manufacturers, wholesalers, retailers...and local law enforcement?

Importantly, will anyone who has one now be in danger of being classified a felon if it can be proven they know about this, making their possession or transfer of their airsoft gun "willful," and thus subject to criminal prosecution?

Do we now have a new crop of criminals? Hundreds or thousands of them? How could that not be the case?
UPDATE-- Len Savage tells me:
What FOX did not print is that I told them anything including plumbing parts that are sold at home depot can be made into a gun and any 8th grader can build a gun in shop class. Making a gun is not a complicated task.

There was apparently a word limit, and the editor dropped many things.

I also gave FOX ATF documents that showed a disparity in ATF declarations on what part of a gun is a frame or receiver. Most recently ATF ruling on the FNC that is VERY similar in design to the AR. ATF says that the "upper", not the lower is "the" frame or receiver, while the AR lower, not the upper is considered "the" frame or receiver.



Developing... It looks like the web is filling up with stories about this, ATF will do something, I will try and keep on top of it.

05/16/2010 found a link to a discussion on the Mythbusters forum talking about this.
http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/9741919888/m/52419955401/p/1

Thursday, May 13, 2010

What's up with ARES

This is the info I have been able to glean from some phone calls
Spartan imports will be bringing in the H& Kock branded guns, they will also have Ares other guns but they are bringing them in from Europe so the price will be high.

Z shot ( at this time) will be the distributor for all non H& Kock guns for the US.
The reason the guns are not here yet is because Ares does not inventory guns. They make them when ordered and the order has to be considerable ( read Bunches and Bunches of guns) They also make them in sequence, 1st M-4 then WA 2000's as so forth.

Last I talked with them, and all of this is subject to change as this is airsoft, it looks like summer time before they start coming in. I did not ask about about any specific guns time frame. 
 
So, if you want a H&Koch Ares, have your dealer call Spartan, for all others, Z-Shot,
but it's best to wait till they start coming in,
I am sure that Arines, airsoft EU and popular airsoft will let you know when that is. 
 
On a personal note, I got my new computer up, what do you think?
I just cant seem to find discs to fit for a backup, must be too new to the market.
 
I also wanted to talk about this Arizona thing, as that is the state I was born it.
I am glad to see pictures of the Border Patrol doing such a great job, keep it up guys!

Now, get back to work
See you later,
Stay thirsty my friends.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Thank you, Thank you. I am here all week, tip your waitress

There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says

‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’ 

 

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge." 

 

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Monday rolled around again, I guess it's better than the alternative!

Here we are again, Half way to Christmas.
Hope your weekend was spent shooting something and
you bought your Mom some nice flowers.
She deserves it, after raising a kid like you!
( look, now I'm projecting,
guess it's time to go back on the couch)

Take a minute, have a laugh.



Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order..'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. 
Sometimes the bull wins..

 Is that a great picture or what?
I now have a fetish for mini M-4's 
Sam took the pic
X-Caliber Tactical built the gun.
Getting the battery that would fit in that tiny forearm was a huge pain, 
but somehow they did it. 
Review to come.




This would be cool with 6mm plastics and 
fashion the bottom of it so it could be rail mounted.

 

Another old one, but it always makes me chuckle



 Qantas Airlines
       Just in case you need a laugh:
       Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those who fly routinely in their
jobs.
       After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
       Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here
are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with
a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
       By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever,
had an accident, or so they say.


       P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
       S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
       *
       P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
       S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
       *
       P: Something loose in cockpit.
       S: Something tightened in cockpit.
       *
       P: Dead bugs on windshield.
       S: Live bugs on back-order.
       *
       P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute
descent.
       S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
       *
       P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
       S: Evidence removed.
       *
       P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
       S: DME volume set to more believable level..
       *
       P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick..
       S: That's what friction locks are for.
       *
       P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
       S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
       *
       P: Suspected crack in windshield.
       S: Suspect you're right.
       *
       P: Number 3 engine missing.
       S: Engine found on right wing after brief search..
       *
       P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
       S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
       *
       P: Target radar hums.
       S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
       *
       P: Mouse in cockpit.
       S: Cat installed.
       *
       And the best one for last
       *
       P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
       S: Took hammer away from the midget.


REMEMBER


  



See you tomorrow
Stay Thirsty my Friends.