NO NEWS NOW, IT"S ALL BAD ANYWAY
NOW WE DANCE
Released in the United States on March 16, 1982 and in the United Kingdom in September 1983, the song peaked at number three on the Billboard Hot 100 chart[1] and number one on Cash Box, as well as number one on the Billboard Dance Chart
Come on, you know you danced to this at least once!
Never, it's just not a good idea
Here is some sad news, some of you might of heard this, but I wanted to pass it on to all
It is with saddest heart that I pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection,
and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough,
who has a bun in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly Father, Pop Tart.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies
and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart "cookie",
wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man,
was considered a roll model for millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Now for a little, "I didn't know that"
In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the __expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." ************************************************************** As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy. ************************************************************** In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man." Today in business, we use the __expression or title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the Board." ************************************************************** Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . therefore, the __expression "losing face." ************************************************************** Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman . as in "straight laced". . . wore a tightly tied lace. **************************************************************
Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck." ************************************************************** Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip." ************************************************************** At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding your "P's and Q's." ************************************************************** One more: bet you didn't know this! In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls.. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys.." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." (All this time, you thought that was an improper __expression, didn't you.)
This is more skewed to real steel, but it works for all of us in this sport as well
You might be a "Gun Enthusiast" if:
-----you have ever loaded a drawer up with so much ammo that you can't open
it
-----when someone asks how many guns you have, you have to think about it
for a minute
-----you have ever bought ammo in a caliber that none of your guns fire
-----the guns you took to the range cost more then your car
-----you carry a different gun every day of the week
-----whenever you can't decide which gun to get, you get both
-----you get your wife/girlfriend to wear Hoppes 9 instead of her usual
perfume.
-----you take so many guns to the range and don't shoot half of them.
-----you have an extra room in your house just for ammo and guns.
-----your home page is set to a firearms related webpage.
-----you count the number of bullets that people shoot in a movie and then
scream a top of your lungs BULLSH*T!!! when a guy using a revover mows down
a battalion of criminals without reloading.
-----if you regularly find guns around the house and in far corners of the
safe that you have no memory of buying ... and such discoveries no longer
surprise you.
----- you know more about the Constitution than your lawyer.
----- your wife leaves you and you don't mind. Your dog gets run over by a
truck and you barely flinch. But you accidentally drop your favorite gun,
gets scratched and you cry a river.
----- if you ever thought to do your own "Gun Buy-Back" program. Let's face
it, even a Saturday Night Special for a $20 Blockbuster Gift Card is a good
deal.
----- if you have more holster than Imelda Marcos had shoes.
----- if you never stop looking for pre-ban hi-cap magazines... even in a
supermarket.
-----if you can field strip any firearm you own hanging upside down and
blindfolded
-----if you have ever bought a gun to fill an old holster someone gave you.
(So many times I can no longer count 'em.)
----- if you have ever bought a gun to shoot up a half-filled 20-round box
of ammo someone gave you, because you didn't have a rifle in that caliber
yet. Ditto for when someone gives you an old set of reloading dies in some
obscure caliber.
-----if you have ever accidentally run a pocket pistol through the wash and
spin cycles, still in your pants pocket.
----- if you do not own a single fabric-based item (clothing, bags or
suitcases) that does NOT set off the explosives trace detector at the
airport.
-----if you have ever bought a gun that is identical to TWO you already own,
because the first two are out-of-production NIB examples and you can't bring
yourself to shoot them.
-----When buying something with pocket change, you have to pick the dimes
and quarters out of a handful of loose ammo.
-----if you have ever busted a spring on your car from piling too much ammo
in the trunk on the way to a shoot.
-----For you NFA junkies: You know the birthday of your BATF examiner, even
though you can't remember your wife's.
-----if you have ever researched a firearm you own to find out the date it
was manufactured ... and then thrown a birthday party for it.
-----if you go to WalMart for back-to-school supplies, then must explain to
your wife why that includes 1 box of 9mm Win. .
-----if your dog is "Dog" and your cat is "Cat," but each of your guns has a
name. (Well, at least the guns you're closest to -- ya know, the ones you've
bonded with.)
-----when you say "Damn ! That is a sexy looking piece!", your wife knows
you are not looking at another woman.
----- whenever you see a story on TV about a gator spotted in a
neighborhood, you think "Crap, there goes another target of opportunity."
----- if your AR, after installing all the new gadgets, now weighs more than
a FAL.
----- if any time a wheather person on TV gives the latest update on the
hurricane du jour, you wonder if you have enough ammo.
----- if your hurricane panels have shooting ports.
-----if you have to have additional homeowner's insurance specifically for
firearms.
-----if the cops have ever called Homeland Security after pulling you over
-----if you have ever carried more then two guns at once
-----when the local gun shop needs an obscure magazine, they call you
-----when you call your local rep's office, the guy who answers groans and
says "I'll tell him again not to vote for AWB" as soon as he hears your name
-----if you have more holsters then pants
-----if the movers all groan when they see your gunsafe
-----if you spend half an hour bitching about how the good guy in the movie
killed 20 badguys firing full-auto from the hip
-----if your spend another half an hour explaining how the movie would have
been over in 10 minutes if any of the bad guys victims had a gun
-----if you regularly just sit and stare at your guns for a while, and the
rest of your family doesn't find this strange
-----if you reach into your pocket for change at the local 7-11 and pull out
loose ammo along with your change.
-----if the guy working at the 7-11 knows you and isn't surprised.
-----if you have a poster of Burt Gummer holding an 8 bore rifle. ("Guess
you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!")
-----if you can actually take a nap in a gun range.
-----if you felt a knot in your stomach when they showed US Soldiers
destroying a cache of brand spanking new AK-74 on the news
-----if you considered that the cheaply goldplated HK MP-5 was reason enough
to oust Hussein.
-----When you mount a tripod, bayonet and flash suppressor to your N.A.A. 22
MINI MAG
-----If you do a complete breakdown of all your weapons just to stay in
practice - "especially if you haven't made it to the range lately"
-----if you find more .22LR than loose change when you clean out your car.
-----if your nightstand is stacked with gun rags and firearm technical and
reloading manuals.
-----if you build a portable reloading system so you can reload in the
family room and not miss your favorite tv-show.
-----if the local SWAT teams stop by your house for guns and ammo before
heading out to the big bust.
I can heedfully say that almost every item on this list applies to me at least one time in the past 
It's Monday, CSI is on tonight, right?
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo,
(and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican
When I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd Never gone to work that morning..
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,
The Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal
To the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
But the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
Now some eighties music to make your day
Now, I hope to have some interesting reviews up this week,What guns will they be, below is a hint. Until tomorrow, stay Thirsty my Friends. 
. 
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