Monday, June 7, 2010

Gosh durn, I almost forgot it was Monday!

I had to wash clothes today, I was down to this in my closet!

Monday is almost gone, and I almost forgot.
But even though last week brought bad new, a new week is upon us and now we can dance

The guys from Frozen crossing have a new vid, Airsoft guns used throughout.

Jack sleeps with a pillow under his gun, that's a real man for ya!

Now for some Pilot to Tower conversations,

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give  us another hint! We have digital watches!"

Tower: "TWA  2341, for noise abatement turn right 45  degrees."
TWA  2341: "Center,  we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up  here?"
Tower: "Sir,  have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it  hits a 727?"


From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff  queue: "I'm bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself  immediately!"
Unknown  aircraft: "I  said I was bored, not  stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United  329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock,  three miles,  Eastbound."
United  329: "Approach,  I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."


A  student became lost during a solo cross-country  flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on  radar, ATC asked, "What  was your last known  position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."


A  DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an  exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American  751, make a hard right turn at the end of the  runway,  if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."


A  Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in   Munich , overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in  German): "Ground,  what is our start clearance time?"
Ground  (in English): "If  you want an answer you must speak in  English."
Lufthansa  (in English): "I  am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany .  Why must I speak  English?"
 Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"


Tower: "Eastern  702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on  frequency 124.7"
Eastern  702: "Tower,  Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the  far end of the  runway."
Tower:  "Continental  635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental  635: "Continental  635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."


One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What  a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by,  came back with a real zinger: "I  made it out of DC-8 parts.  Another landing like  yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only  expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.  So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747)  listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
 Speedbird  206: "Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird  206. Taxi to gate Alpha  One-Seven."
The  BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird,  do you not know where you are  going?"
Speedbird  206: "Stand  by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location  now."
Ground  (with quite arrogant  impatience): "Speedbird  206, have you not been to Frankfurt  before?"
Speedbird  206 (coolly): "Yes,  twice in 1944, but it was dark --  and  I didn't  land."


While taxiing at London's Gatwick airport,  the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft.  Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose  with a United 727.
An  irate female ground controller lashed out at the US  Air crew, screaming: "US  Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you  to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right  on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult  for you to tell the difference between C and D, but  get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God!  Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever  to sort this out! You stay right there and don't  move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you,  and how I tell you! You got that, US Air  2771?"

"Yes, ma'am,"  the  humbled crew responded.

Naturally,  the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air  2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.  Tension in every cockpit around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:

"Wasn't I married to you once?"

No one ever thinks about how it will affect the little people.

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed,
Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol,
so you will always remember me.
But grandpa I really don't like guns,
how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me,
some day you goin a be runna da bussiness,
you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino,
some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. 
Whata you gonna do then? 
Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

- The funniest videos clips are here

I feel for him, poor Che

Until Tomorrow
Stay Thirsty my Friends

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